they'll sing you right to sleep, then they'll screw you just the same.

the things i have learned today are threefold.
one: apparently there is always something in my life just waiting to go wrong.
two: people who are not artists generally have a lot of money. which they proceed to squander on useless things.
three: i am an artist. i do not have a lot of money. which i have to stop squandering on useless things.

eye en gee direct is probably like, wtf chelsea. do you even still bank with us?

in a perfect world, by september i will have inherited my father's electrical bread-making machine and will consume my carb quota for less than three dollars a day.
unless, of course, he sold it in our garage sale without my knowledge.
which is not unlikely by any stretch of the imagination.