In the last week, I have:

- been locked out of my apartment twice
- cried uncontrollably about nothing approximately eight thousand times
- written three poems
- loved my typewriter like a lover of loving love
- been offered a prestigious executive position on the university's literary journal
- bought real groceries
- had my cracked window repaired
- painted my fingernails
- experimented with vampy eye makeup
- seen a ghost
- eaten the entire planet, much to the chagrin of my digestive tract
- gone to class

In the last week, I have not:
- slept