there's holes in all the bottles and my lungs hurt.

today was a weird fucking day.
there are still green leaves on the chestnut trees, but winter is coming and everyone knows it.
i'm sad and anxious and lonely and all i want to do tonight is paint my canvases and crawl into my bed with you already curled inside it, but you aren't here and there is no time for painting because there are notes to be taken and cover letters to be written and decisions to be made.
on the bright side,
the government of canada contacted me today.
they said, happy thanksgiving, chelsea.
here's a cheque for seventy-two dollars and seventy cents.
and i said to the envelope in my hands, thanks, government of canada.
you sure do have impeccable timing.