stand in for the unremitting smell of your skin

it seems like
all i ever do anymore is:
work
smoke
cry.

this wouldn't be so bad if i could include
sleep
in that list.

every time i think about my life
six months ago
i want to vomit.
this has happened
almost a hundred times
today,
which would account for
my telling everyone
i have the stomach flu.

(interesting fact:
since i returned to calgary i have lost
approximately seven pounds.)