this morning i felt benevolent

and gave an inordinate sum of money to a woman on the corner of yates and vancouver who told me she was a public defense lawyer from toronto who had to get up island and just had her wallet stolen by a schizophrenic
i make a hundred and twenty thousand dollars a year
she said
i can pay you back double
maybe she was schizophrenic
maybe i am
she wore electric blue eyeliner and i don't think i'll ever see that cash again
and for this i blame sex
and humanism

o universe you keep trying to teach me lessons and i know this
but i don't know when i'll learn

comfortable material conditions may not be to the advantage of the seeker

chelsea: dear tarot cards
are you sure i should move back to calgary?
tarot cards: dear chelsea
yes
but only if you're doing it
for the right reasons
chelsea: what does that mean?
tarot cards: please ask again later

sir
your product works like no other
these metaphysical slips of paper
each one the size of a small
locked door to your magic
transformations
on which you've left a countless
scramble of loose keys
for me to match
metal into metal
hook in eye
yin and yang
good and evil
in solitude

i am a lone woman
on a tin-can telephone
with god
and everything he says is coming
in crackled through the shuffling
of the cards
through the ever-shifting wire

***
i'm listening to ckua radio
and i miss my dad
there are approximately 80 pages of women's studies readings on my coffee table
but instead
i decided to do this
maybe you should just indulge
said this morning's globe horoscope
maybe i will
my work will still be here tomorrow
it's not running away
but my bunny pasta is