dyslexia

i tried to type
earth
but i accidentally put the last letter
first
and spelled



(heart)

some of you may know i had my wisdom teeth out today.
some of you may know i was deep-sedated and some of you may know i do not particularly like the idea of being deep-sedated. the mind turned off. losing time.

but it wasn't, really. i didn't, really. actually, i wonder if time moved at all, because

the last thing i can remember before i went under is two brick chimneys through the window, one crow on each chimney,
the two crows talking.
and the first thing i saw when i woke up were two chimneys through the window, one crow on each chimney,
the two crows talking.

"how are you feeling?" says the nurse.
"i had some really nice meditations," i say, coming to.

dear mercury,
PLEASE SLOW DOWN PLEASE I'M NOT READY YET FOR ALL THIS
NOISE MESS DISTRESS
love,
chelsea

*
dear chelsea,
don't tell me what to do. you're not my mom.
you're not the SUN.

(and this morning i woke up after 9.5 hours of sleep
and don't have to rush anywhere)

this is a time of great reconciling
and what i wished for today in nidra is not what i might have expected but
it was truest.

tonight i will actually be in bed by ten thirty.
(miracle)

already i have forgotten my summer.
already i have forgotten what i would be doing at 17.17 on a monday evening, in the summer.
today i had to wait in line at the bookstore for 20 minutes so i could spend a hundred dollars on two text books,
and then i had to take a packed bus home, during rush hour, through a construction zone.
i would call this culture shock, yeah.

ok.
so the weirdest email correspondence in my box today:

Dear Chelsea,
The bi-lingual magazine C&LH has now an American website.
The link to our website is the following:
http://contemporaryliteraryhorizon.blogspot.com/
It will be a pleasure for us if you become a constant reader of C&LH.
Thank you!
Should you require more information, please let me know.
Best regards,

*
i have to ask,
how did you find me?

*
Oh, thanks to mr. Gates, it is very-very simple to find a man, even in Antarctica!
Of course, I find your address on the net.
Thank you for your answer, welcome to C&LH website and keep in touch with us, dear Chelsea!
You'll never regret it.
Kind regards from me and my editorial staff,





um,
WHAT?

chelsea, you have to go to school tomorrow.
um, WHAT?

you know, the funniest thing happened.
yesterday i envisioned something,
and today it came together.
kabam.
like that.
wood and turquoise and a slender pendant
of ganesh.
thanks, universe.
thanks, superconsciousness.

this summer, i may have taken the sun for granted.
not that i didn't appreciate it, but i did certainly assume
that when i woke up every morning,
it wouldn't be raining.

it's raining pms and i refuse to cook and i also refuse to wash my own dishes but i do have three films from pic a flic and the answer to the question of dinner tonight has resulted in
answer: delivery from the joint.
bad cat chels hotel.
o well.
o well.

you guys.
big news.
i finally, after
two years,
found a copy of
gypsy guitar.

there is only so much to be said for crackpot fortune-telling

which tells me,
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Sumatra around the year 375. Your profession was that of a artist, magician or fortune teller.
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
As a natural talent in psychology, you knew how to use your opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
The timid, lonely and self-confident people are everywhere, and your task is to overcome these tendencies in yourself and then to help other people.
Do you remember now?

but there is, at least, this much

o holy
tunafish.
(all the leaves are dropping and when the tomatoes
fell from my their idiot balance on forearm, in the parking lot,
they scattered like ash
on fire)